It happened Tuesday – the pumpkin spice latte returned to Starbucks. And with it comes pumpkin spice … everything. Since 2003, Starbucks hasn’t just launched a drink – they’ve launched an entire season. What started as a test in a handful of stores is now a cultural phenomenon and $1.25B industry. The The pumpkin spice latte’s enduring popularity owes as much to Starbucks’ strategic marketing as to the flavor itself. By creating mystery around the launch date, leveraging social media and paying celebrities to be seen with the iconic cups, Starbucks turned the pumpkin spice launch into the unofficial start of fall.

There is substantive research behind this type of phenomenon. As Malcolm Gladwell noted in The Tipping Point, influence grows when an idea crosses from niche to mainstream through connectors, cultural cues and the network effect. The pumpkin spice latte became a movement not just through advertising, but because it reached a cultural tipping point.

Nonprofits and social entrepreneurs are trying to do the same – take a campaign or idea beyond messaging and make it a movement. This is social influence at work – not manipulation, but intentional culture-building. Starbucks triggered emotional connections through scarcity, ritual and anticipation – the mental thrill of autumn in a cup.

That’s why Part 4 of our EQ series ends with Social Influence – the fourth core element of EQ. These same principles can guide nonprofit leaders as they translate vision into organizational or community momentum.

Part 4: Social Influence

Social influence in a leader looks very different than a Starbucks campaign. If self-awareness is about knowing yourself, self-regulation is about managing yourself, and social awareness is about attuning to others, then social influence is about mobilizing others toward shared goals.

That’s the real power of influence. It’s not about pushing ideas – it’s about shaping behaviors, inspiring adoption and building trust so people willingly follow. In my leadership trainings, this is often the most eye-opening element of emotional intelligence. Most leaders don’t realize the influence they already have – the ripple effect they create in how they show up, speak and act every day. And here’s the kicker: it’s not about charisma alone. True influence is grounded in executive presence, real relationships and delivering on promises.

Definition: What is Social Influence?

Social influence is the ability to develop and maintain good relationships, communicate clearly, influence others and manage conflict through finding common ground. It’s about guiding others in ways that build trust and optimize results for all. The key question for it is:

Can I optimize results for all?

It includes skills such as:

Storytelling – using narrative to move people
Team Building – creating cohesion across differences
Change Management – guiding people through transitions
Conflict Management – finding common ground and turning tension into a win-win
Collaboration – working across boundaries for shared wins

Leaders in nonprofits and social enterprises have enormous potential to influence – not just their teams, but entire communities. In my work as a former lobbyist and now a consultant, I’ve seen that influence is the bridge between vision and reality. But it’s also one of the most misunderstood leadership skills. Influence can flow in both directions: it can inspire trust, collaboration and positive change, or it can erode credibility and culture if left unchecked. That’s why leaders must approach influence intentionally – anchoring it in values, substance and authentic relationships.

Myths vs. Realities

Myth: Influence is about charisma.
Reality: True influence is built on trust, consistency and authenticity.

Myth: Influence is about persuasion.
Reality: It’s more about inspiration – helping others see themselves in the mission.

Myth: Influence only happens at the top.
Reality: Anyone, at any level, can influence culture, decisions and change.

Myth: Influence is a one-time spark.
Reality: Lasting influence builds long-term ownership and momentum.

Tools for Building Social Influence

You don’t need a title to lead. From frontline staff to volunteers, anyone can influence culture and decisions. Influence spreads when people at every level feel empowered to act. Practical, affordable activities leaders can use include:

1. The Power of Storytelling

Stories connect hearts; data connects heads. Social sector leaders need both. Use client or volunteer stories, personal journeys or lived experience to make your mission memorable. (See our past blog on storytelling in nonprofits.) In the age of AI, emotional engagement is a leadership super-skill. Influence is strongest when people feel personally connected to the purpose. Leaders must tap their own sense of meaning and align it with what matters most to others.

2. Consider Word Shifts

Our annual blog was founded on the idea that words change how people are influenced. Sometimes small words carry big influence. Reframe language with inclusive phrases and people-first language:

Say “we” instead of “I” to build ownership.
Use “can” instead of “should” to empower choice.
Lead with “yes, and,” a concept from improv comedy, to show openness.

3. Use Influence Techniques

Don’t underestimate hallway conversations, casual check-ins or handwritten notes. Influence isn’t just on the stage – it’s built in everyday interactions. Leverage the landmark research from psychologist Robert Cialdini, which proposes six influence principles that you can apply to your interactions:

Reciprocity: Share helpful impact reports or data insights to build goodwill and support.
Commitment & Consistency: Start with small commitments that invite larger ones. Encourage individuals to give to your nonprofit in small ways and build a long-term connection over time.
Authority: Come prepared with data and endorsements, especially in funder or policy discussions.
Liking: Build warmth and rapport: remember names, listen actively and personalize your proposal to your audience’s interests.
Scarcity: Create urgency (“One-time matching gift opportunity,” “Limited event seats”) in your next fundraising email. People have a real fear of missing out, so encourage them to help you now.

4. Build Real Relationships that Last

In a world of social media – where everything can feel instant, transactional and fleeting – it’s easy to undervalue the micro-moments that build lasting relationships. One of my favorite slides to share in leadership trainings – especially with younger professionals – is the one below:

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It shows that true relationships aren’t built overnight. They grow over time through respect, empathy, authenticity and listening. Leaders who intentionally invest in those building blocks create influence that doesn’t just spark short-term action but sustains trust and collaboration for the long run.

Techniques for Leaders

Higher-level practices that scale influence across an organization:

1. Craft a Compelling “Why”

Simon Sinek was right – people don’t buy what you do, they buy why you do it. Make sure your mission is framed in ways that inspire others to see themselves as part of the story. Consider a refresh in your vision, mission or values to inspire others to want to join your organization.

2. Build Executive Presence as Your Secret Weapon

Influence starts with your presence: calm, credible and values-aligned. It’s not the loudest voice – it’s the trustworthy one. And surprisingly, research shows that executive presence is probably not about what you think it is. As the slide below shows, executive presence is connected to gravitas and communication style as much as it is to appearance.

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Leaders who cultivate all three dimensions project credibility and create the conditions where others naturally want to follow.

3. Conflict Management

Relationships are tested most when conflict arises. In nonprofits – where passions run high and resources are scarce – conflict is inevitable. But handled deftly and directly, it can build trust and build an even stronger relationship.

Seek common ground – Anchor conversations in shared values or outcomes, and focus on the relationship rather than “winning” the argument.
Reframe conflict as a collaborative moment – Shift from me vs. you to us vs. the problem.
Listen actively and consider it an opportunity to learn about your blind spots – People need to feel heard before they can hear you and shift to solutions. Often, conflict stems from unseen triggers on both sides; surfacing those tensions can unlock enhanced self-awareness and possibly a joint path forward.
Find the win–win – Aim for solutions where all parties feel respected and where organizational mission – not ego – emerges stronger.

Join the Conversation

Social influence isn’t about pushing your opinion on others or manipulating the situation to have an advantage – it’s about generating pull. Starbucks didn’t force pumpkin spice into culture; they made it something people anticipated. Nonprofit leaders can do the same by cultivating trust, sparking emotional engagement, strengthening executive presence, leveraging timeless principles of influence and managing conflict well.

How do you use influence to drive impact as a leader? Share your experiences – we’d love to learn from you.

With this, we conclude our EQ series: self-awareness, self-regulation, social awareness and social influence. These aren’t just emotional intelligence traits – they’re the foundation for thriving nonprofit cultures and communities. We would love to hear your thoughts about this series and how you are using it personally and professionally.

The EQ Nonprofit Advantage, Part 4: Social Influence – Turning Vision into Momentum